05/28/99: We had one written. It looked kind of weak to us with 20/20 hindsight. We're writing a new one. (The old one should still be available at the old version of CSSKD, if you absolutely must read every damn thing we write. But really, if it was any good in the first place, wouldn't we have put it up?)
"I don't know why people keep saying that I serve no purpose in society. I mean, I combust gasoline in a manner that propels me, and from this ability give people rides to work, don't I?
No, wait. Those are cars. Forget it."
"Movies are an interesting medium, because everything is very scripted and rehearsed. It's immaculate, flawless. That's why I find TV so interesting, because here are these really tiny people living in boxes. And they have to act on the spot, you know? Except for the commercial breaks. Man, they must love those, huh?"
"I've often wondered: if I had the ability to give myself a blowjob, would I use that power all the time, or only sparingly? And the answer is that I'd probably do it all the time."
"A man once told me, 'Never do movies out of hunger. Do movies for love.' I don't remember who that man was, but I do remember
"
"If I couldn't be an actor, I'm not sure what I'd do. I guess be a pilot or something. That sounds fairly interesting. I don't know, really. All I know is I have to decide by Friday, because that's when my Hollywood restraining order kicks in."
"I'll admit that I've been pretty much blacklisted on most director's casting lists. It's too bad really -- I think I've got a lot of good work left in me. Most people won't even give me a chance anymore, and I think it all stems back from that one time when I brought that horse out in front of all of Hollywood and had sex with it for fifty-five minutes."