Jeez, man, is it that time already? Checked in with my blog to read all your comments and noticed I hadn't posted in a week.

I actually started with a new job, so it's been a crazy week with the amount of new information being sent my way. Add onto this my birthday last Tuesday with my parents visiting for two days; a freelance assignment from the Lampoon I've been working on; some contract work from my old job to do some design and layout that ate up a weekend; a potential server change for jaypinkerton.com; and finishing up my third (and, in retrospect, far too ambitious) News Skim photo comic. I feel bad now putting up that "Artists Apply Here!" thing on my blog -- I got back some great responses from some enthusiastic people, and then of course offered no follow-through on scripts or ideas, due to my life exploding with sudden change and huge workload. Lesson learned: type up scripts FIRST, then post offer for collaborations.

Anyway, in lieu of a new post, here's a rundown of the stuff I've written over the last few years that still makes me laugh. When you're the author of something, you usually read it over and tweak it so many times it loses all meaning for you. I like it when an article actually lets me enjoy it like it was written by someone else entirely.

How to Assemble an IKEA Computer Desk
Actually based on real events, as sad as that is to admit. This remains one of my most popular articles, most likely because it makes me look like such an enormous moron. For some reason readers give me the most enthusiastic responses on articles where I look irretrievably retarded.

Music Video Review: Kazzer, "Pedal To The Medal"
In fairness, making jokes about Kazzer is like catching fish you've put in a bucket -- you can't help but wonder if you might have set the bar a bit low. Nonetheless, I had fun doing it, and in doing so, learned to believe in myself. And that's worth more than anything you can buy, friend.

Stem Cell Research
When you read this -- and I find it frankly presposterous that you wouldn't -- try to imagine me cradling a pipe in front of a bookshelf crammed to bursting with dusty old leatherbound volumes of the smartest literature intelligence can buy. Then pull back to reveal I'm actually just standing in front of a poster of a bookshelf, holding a bubble pipe, and standing in my underwear in my bathroom.

Writing Great Suspense
As one of only three articles I've ever written in my life that doesn't in some way involve homosexual sex, rampant profanity and an open declaration of my opposition to goodness and purity, this tends to be the article I send people when they ask me "No, really--what do you do with your spare time?"

A Tribe Untouched
My first attempt at an extended comedic narrative. I thought it came out really well, but sadly it's almost impossible to get anyone to read more than 1500 words if it's online. I don't know why that is, exactly -- it just seems to be the case. At any rate, if you're willing to buck the stats, this article's got a lot of great little gems in it.