Todd

Jay: [knocking on cubicle] "Hey, Todd?"

Todd: "Heyyyyy, Jay." [chkk-chkk noise, wink] "Staying out of trouble?"

Jay: "Yeah, sure. Todd, I need—"

Todd: "That's what I like to hear. Say, a club sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'm sorry, we don't serve food here!' HELL-lo!"

Jay: "Yes, very amusing. Todd, I just got an assignment from the Vice-President of our company, Chrissy Carmichael."

Todd: "Ooo, tough break."

Jay: "Totally. I'm supposed to put a memo together about this new strategic review team she wants to help the Proposal Centre."

Todd: "Unh hunh."

Jay: "But the thing is, Todd, is she wants it to be... funny."

Todd: "Ohhhhh, gotcha. So what's the problem, there, Jay? You're always good for a yuk!"

Jay: "I'm not sure if I'm... funny enough to handle this one, Todd. I don't think I'm as funny as her. One of the jokes she mentioned was 'Have you ever seen a rainbow in black and white? Let's drive our value proposition in technicolor!'"

Todd: "Hey, that's pretty good! I'VE never seen a rainbow in black and white!"

Jay: "I thought you'd like that. The thing is, I'm not sure I'll be... physically able to come up with material like the rainbow thing."

Todd: "I get you! So you need ol' Todd 'Mr. Funnybone' Grenhall, eh?"

Jay: "Todd, for the last time, I refuse to call you that."

Todd: "Fair enough, sports fan!"

Jay: "So you think you can help me come up with some 'zingers' for this memo?"

Todd: "Sure, pull up a chair! And don't feel bad. We can't all be jokesters."

Jay: "That's true. I'll just try to cope, I suppose."

Todd: "Okay, so what'll the rainbow be SAYING? Let's bluesky this."

Jay: [scribbling notes down]

Me: "All I'm saying is, we're understaffed as it is. If I'm gonna be expected to launch this proposal tracking initiative, I'm gonna need help doing it."

Todd: "Maybe we could recruit internally. You know, get one of the receptionists to help you out one day a week or something."

Me: "That's not a bad idea. Who were you thinking of?"

Todd: "What about Marcy, the new girl?"

Me: "Marcy, Marcy... which one's she again?"

Todd: [adopting lascivious grin] "Oh, you know the one... chesty blonde? Bosoms that could launch a thousand ships?... legs that go ALLLLLL the way up... a nice candy-apple ass you'd write home to Mother about?" [making vague hand gestures] "Ha ha ha."

[a long guarded pause]

Me: "Good Jesus, Todd."

Todd: [making dramatic show] "Oh, I'm SORRY, Jay. Didn't mean to offend your DELICATE sensibilities."

Me: "No, it's not that. It's your dime store novel editorializing. `Legs that go all the way up?' What are you, a 1920s gumshoe?"

Todd: [looking horrified] "Um..."

Me: "Ted? Can you come here a second?"

Ted: "What's up, guys?"

Me: "You know that that new girl, Marcy?"

Ted: [adopting lascivious grin] "Heh heh heh. Yeah."

Me: "How would you describe her?"

Ted: "I dunno. Huge tits. Nice ass on her too. Damn, man."

Me: "Uh huh. Would you write home to Mother about it?"

Ted: "What? God. Why would I want to tell my mom about the new secretary's ass?"

Me: "I can't imagine. What about her legs?"

Ted: "I dunno. Nice legs. I could imagine `em wrapped around me, that's for sure, huh huh!"

Me: "Okay. Would you say they go ALLLLL the way up?"

[pause]

Ted: "I don't even know what that means."

Me: "Thanks, Ted."

Todd: "I think you've made your point."