Pinkerton's Weblog

My Ass Needs Kicking (From Me)

You know, long ago I made a pact with myself that I would never host a run-of-the-mill blog.

There's just something about regular blogs that infuriate me. Maybe its their staring-up-their-own-asses-and-taking-notes style, in which the authors erroneously assume that every banal detail of their lives is in need of exhaustive documentation. Or maybe it's just all the spelling and grammatical errors. Actually, most likely it's all those tacky quizzes, which take a medium meant to be an outpouring of individuality and turn it into one more idiocy parade where everything looks identical to everything else. If you're the sort of person who enjoys describing themselves in terms of their similarity to popular movie characters, let me save you the trouble: you are Bombo, The Stupidest Movie Vampire in the Universe.

Due to my passionate blog-hate, I've always wanted this blog to be as unblog-like as possible. I wanted to use it not to record every banal detail of my life but for funny anecdotes and observations. I wanted to use it to announce site updates. I wanted it to be the opposite of every other blog, in other words. I wanted it to be remotely entertaining and informative.

But as evidenced by the sporadic postings, I've apparently gotten lazy on the blog front. As it turns out, if you stop writing down your amusing anecdotes for a while, you stop remembering to write them down at all -- and thus, the world at large is robbed of stories about you buying coffee, returning a watch or contracting hepatitis in a bathroom.

The solution is clearly that I need to kick my own ass into updating my blog more. I seem to have gotten out of the habit of staring up my own ass occasionally and recording the sounds of the echo. I need to get back on that blog horse.

Until then, in an attempt to address the mountain of email I receive asking me, "Jay, what Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?"...

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