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Getting Out Of Bed (Just Like Brian Wilson Didn't) (March 7, 2005)
Listening To Your Life Get Shorter To The Sounds of Lionel Richie (March 1, 2005)
Etiquette: Advanced Edition (January 18, 2005)
Afternoon Delight (December 14, 2004)
82 Reasons to Empathize With Your Government (November 29, 2004)
Misc. (November 16, 2004)
A Brief Update From Heathen Lands (October 8, 2004)
The Problem (September 8, 2004)
Hackley-Smoot Act: The Bestselling Suspense Thriller (September 7, 2004)
You Don't Buy a Cure For Cancer, You Just Rent It (September 3, 2004)
"Berry" Good News (August 26, 2004)
Need a Light? Urine Luck! (August 11, 2004)
This Title Brought To You By Starsky & Hutch (Buy on DVD TODAY!) (July 31, 2004)
Office of the Damned (July 26, 2004)
Spam: The Other Pink Meat (June 29, 2004)
Killing Me Slowly With Their Songs (June 10, 2004)
Deathmatchin'! (Pt. 2) (April 24, 2004)
Deathmatchin'! (Pt.1) (April 23, 2004)
Free Crap (With Every Order of Crap) (April 22, 2004)
You DON'T Think (April 18, 2004)
Here Comes the Sun (April 11, 2004)
My Deductive Genius Put to Work (April 4, 2004)
How The Test Was Won And Where It Got Us (March 18, 2004)
A Real Looker (February 18, 2004)
Reading is Dead (Long Live the King) (January 25, 2004)
My Ass Needs Kicking (From Me) (January 23, 2004)
Buffet of the Damned (January 12, 2004)
My Bob Dole Period (Part II) (December 31, 2003)
My Bob Dole Period (Part I) (December 29, 2003)
Fret (noun) (December 17, 2003)
The Worst Part (November 30, 2003)
Not Too Much Off The Sides (November 26, 2003)
How To Throw a Baby (November 20, 2003)
This Irritating, Useless Voice Message Is For Your Convenience (November 3, 2003)
Inane in the Membrane (October 26, 2003)
What the fuck is PC Load Letter? (October 24, 2003)
Gasping Morons & Ratfuck Bastards (October 20, 2003)
My Brain Don't Work Right (October 17, 2003)
Yes, Virginia, Your Parents Despise You (October 8, 2003)
It's Like Stealing, But With Stamps! (October 6, 2003)
A Touch of the Coulier (October 2, 2003)
A Shameful Confession (September 29, 2003)
The Matrix Revolutions Post That Doesn't Actually Talk About Matrix Revolutions (September 26, 2003)
We Are All Made of Stars (September 20, 2003)
A Tingling, Burning, Skin-Eating Sensation (September 18, 2003)
Fan mail for The Trailer Trash (September 18, 2003)
After the Blackout (September 18, 2003)
How To Be Drunk And Stupid (September 6, 2003)
Acceptable Losses (August 28, 2003)
Invasion of the Computer Snatchers (August 28, 2003)
IT Rockstar! (August 21, 2003)
Meet The New DOS; Same As The Old DOS (July 3, 2003)
Knowing When To Hold 'Em, Fold 'Em & Walk Away From 'Em: Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler" & Its Effect on Post-Modern Interpretations of Karaoke (June 22, 2003)
In Support of Slave Labour (February 22, 2003)
Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae (February 5, 2003)
OmniMegaDynaCorp Inc. (January 30, 2003)
Altercation on the TTC (December 20, 2002)
Battle of the Brains (December 10, 2002)
Mission Statement (December 6, 2002)
Disgusting Thoughts To Haunt Your Dreams (November 26, 2002)
Something Fun To Do On The Weekend (November 13, 2002)
The Applaudable Aim of Hard Rocking (November 8, 2002)
Human Cartoons On The Fourteenth Floor (November 3, 2002)
Personal Visions of Hell (And Other Fun-Filled Conversation Starters...) (November 1, 2002)
$14.99 Shirt-and-Tie Combo (October 31, 2002)
I Crack Jokes And Turn Others To Sluts (October 20, 2002)
Your Government Dollars At Work (October 19, 2002)
Sympathy For The Devil (October 16, 2002)
Something We can All Agree On... (October 10, 2002)
A Tale of Two Biceps (October 5, 2002)
Stuck In The Middle With (All 5,000 Of) You (October 5, 2002)
Goddamnit! Who Put Luncheon Meat In My Inbox? (October 3, 2002)
Top Five Female Celebrity Fantasy Make-outs (October 2, 2002)
Please Give Generously, So That I Can Kill Karyn (October 1, 2002)
I Will Master The Sousaphone With My 'Just Watch Me' Attitude (October 1, 2002)
Fighting Insomnia (September 30, 2002)
The History of the Blog (September 28, 2002)
A Strict Regimen of Self-Improvement (September 25, 2002)
An Intriguing Discovery (September 21, 2002)


Sin City: An Investigative Report (April 5, 2005)
How To Not Kill Yourself While Brewing Coffee (November 17, 2004)
The Architect's Speech Translated (July 7, 2003)
Visit Scenic Jaytonia! (March 30, 1998)
On Set With Steven Spielberg (March 30, 1998)
Life: The Motion Picture (March 30, 1998)
First Quarter Initiatives (March 30, 1998)
Entrepreneur (March 30, 1998)
Ecowatch With David Susuki (March 30, 1998)
Cooking With Failure (March 30, 1998)
Avril Lavigne: By The Numbers (March 30, 1998)


Jay's Self-Deception Resolution Plan! (January 4, 2005)
Maybe we were too hard on Canadian Tire Guy (January 2, 2005)
Truly Outrageous (March 30, 1998)
They Just Don't Make 'Em Like The Incredible Hulk Anymore (March 30, 1998)
Stem Cell Research Primer (March 30, 1998)
Sending Your Kids to College: Should You? (March 30, 1998)
An Open Letter to the Makers of Beastmaster (March 30, 1998)
I Would Like To Buy a Duck (March 30, 1998)
I Rock (March 30, 1998)



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