"Eat the entire box of mallomars, you fat-cunted shit! These cameras are
fucking rolling! You fat fucking cunt! Do you have any idea how much
filmstock costs? Do you know what this is costing me? You're nothing! You're
a fucking shit-stain to me! Eat those mallomars!"

"I don't care whose kid it is! I asked for a child actor, not a fat tub of
pork dripping! Go fetch me a new kid, and have this one SHOT! Without the
mallomar-eating scene, this picture's a fucking nothing, like all of these
fucking key grip zeros! I KNOW they can hear me! Do you think I care? You
there! I'm Steven fucking Spielberg and you're nothing! FIRED! See, that's
how much I care! You're fired too!"

"Faster! Eat those fucking mallomars, retard! Eat them faster or you're fired!"

"Are you telling me how to direct? Is that what you're doing? Never question
me in front of the crew, Richard! Never in front of the crew! I'll scream at
this fat shit-dripping if I want to, because I'm a somebody and she's a
fucking nobody! I don't care if the parents are here! You know what? No,
shut up, you know what? You're fired. That's what. Get this faggot out of
here! Security!"

"Excuse me. Yes, excuse me. Hi, are you the parents of this fat fucking
retard? Are you? Oh, you are? Well, I have a question for you, parents of
the fat fucking retard. Did you actually CONCEIVE this lardy fat-cunted bowl
of shit, or did you just pile layer after layer of fat into a heap and put
hair on it?"

"Where are you going? Where are they going? It was an honest question! They
can't go! They're walking out of their contract! You — get back here! I'll
see you in court, you ungrateful assholes! I'm Steven Spielberg!"

"If I can't find a fat fucking idiot fucking retard kid to eat a simple box
of mallomars in ten seconds — in TEN FUCKING SECONDS — I'm going to close my
eyes, spin around in a circle with my finger pointing out, and who ever I'm
pointing at when I stop, that person will be killed! I can make that happen!"

"Oh, and we find a kid now! Lo and behold! I was about to spin, you saw me
spinning! Did you hear that, everybody? Everybody? Kenny, get me my fucking
megaphone or you're a fucking ghost in this town. Now! How do I turn it on?
No, don't — don't touch me! Just point to how I turn it on! Christ, you must
be half black or something. Alright, get out of my sight."

SKKKRK "CAN EVERYBODY HEAR ME ALRIGHT? EVERYBODY? GOOD. OKAY, I WAS JUST TALKING TO KENNY HERE, AND I THOUGHT EVERYBODY SHOULD HEAR THIS. WE JUST GOT A CHILD ACTOR UP HERE IN UNDER TEN SECONDS, AND THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE FIRED YOU ALL, AND YOU WOULD HAVE HAD TO COME BACK ON YOUR KNEES JUST TO GET A JOB EATING MY SHIT OUT OF A DOG DISH." SKKKRKK "Alright, I'm done, take the megaphone. Take the FUCKING megaphone!"

"Eat those fucking mallomars, you fat shit! Eat them! does anybody have a
gun I can point at this kid? No? Fuck me. Eat! EEEEEEAT!"

"Alright, it's beautfiul. No, we don't need a fucking second take. I'm
Steven spielberg, alright? And you are? And you are? Repeat after me: I.
Repeat it! Yes. Am. A. Fucking. Retard. Louder, louder, I can't hear you
repeating. Retard, yes. Nobody. NOBODY. That's right."

"And cut. Okay, put a fucking dinosaur in it. It's a drama? Okay, so DON'T
put a dinosaur in it. Put my ass in it. These movies are shit, movie-goers
are big steaming piles of my shit. Yes, I know the woman from Entertainment
Weekly is here. Well, then why don't you rip the fucking tape recorder out
of her hands then, you useless pile of festering fucking ratshit garbage?
Thank you — GOD."

"We're done, it's a day. Tell Kenny to shoot the rest of the movie. I've
going go get a blowjob. You there! Make a note to give a part in this piece
of shit movie to whoever I get to give me oral pleasure. I don't care,
whatever part. The lead."