Once inside, MacGyver sets up his intricate plan— training a parrot to say the words "Intruder on deck seventeen!", which will summon sentinels into the room and trip the motion detector, triggering the bomb. In order to reroute the alarm to his explosives, though, he needs to crack an intricate password system that only responds to musical notes. Not a problem for MacGyver, thanks to four wine glasses and some cat blood!

We cut to a shoot-out and a daring "parachuting car" escape. Then... success! The entire warship explodes in a tower of flame.

Finally, we get to see the big showdown between Agent Smith and MacGyver. The setting is suitably moody, taking place on a street of some kind. Multiple Agent Smiths watch the fight, though it's unclear why they aren't all just attacking our hero at once. Perhaps they started waiting for the fight on newly-set cement, and now their feet are rooted into the sidewalk.

"MacGyver! Welcome back," yells Agent Smith from across the street. "You're... MacGyver."

"I surely am," responds MacGyver. "And I'm here to take you down. By any means necessary, Smith."

"By any means, Mr. MacGyver?" asks Agent Smith, brandishing a three foot long string of anal beads from the recesses of his pants.

"By almost any means necessary, Smith," clarifies MacGyver, retreating slightly.

"You know, we're a lot alike, you and I," says Agent Smith, making conversation. "We have similar taste in eyewear. We both like long walks in the park... going out to clubs... or sometimes just curling up on the couch with a couple rented movies and just snuggling. You know, putting some popcorn in the microwave, unplugging the pho—"

"You gonna talk all day?" asks MacGyver. "Or are you gonna run up to me while grimacing so I can kick your ass for you?"

Agent Smith isn't having any of that, and so runs up to MacGyver while grimacing so he can kick his ass for him.

We cut back to Morpheus, some guy and Trinity, now shooting the patrons of another bar in their futile quest to find MacGyver. MacGyver's actually left several messages on Trinity's cell phone, but she's having so much fun she hasn't bothered to check.

"Please, I'm too young to die!" yells a young man in the bloom of life, as he is riddled with bullets in the chest from Trinity's uzi. "Guess you should have thought of that before dying," she quips.

Meanwhile, Morpheus goes kill-crazy and has a nasty Apocalypse Now flashback. "Vietnam! Charlie's in my pants!" he yells, while Trinity bravely covers for him by shooting innocents.

MacGyver and Smith run at each other and punch each other in the face. Afterwards, they stand watching each other for about ninety seconds. Then, the enormity of what they've just done hits them, and they both fly back suddenly!

We cut to stock footage from the first Matrix film of Neo doing pushups— reinforcing the theme of the entire Matrix series, that if you eat right and exercise, you too can take down the massive computer program that manufactures a false reality for us as it devours our life force to keep itself running.

Then darkness. Wow.

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for Revolutions to hit theaters on May 17th, 2004. Can you wait? I can't either. Let's go over to the Warner Brothers studios, break in, and fuck up all the Matrix guys until they show it to us early, huh? Come on, they're all computer programmers— how hard would it be to bust a few heads up? Who's with me? Anyone? Come on, the jail sentences are unbelievably light in California!

No one? Well, fine. I guess we'll just have to wait until next May. Until then, in the words of Neo:

"I felt like sitting."

We do too, Neo. We do too.